


Final Year of Freedom

by betheflame, HogwartsToAlexandria



Series: Marie's Events and Bang Fics [12]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Autistic Stephen Strange, BAMF Pepper Potts, Bucky's Prosthetic Arm, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams, Empathy, F/M, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Howard and Maria's Deaths, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Obadiah Stane is an Asshole, Polyamory, Recovery, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23110048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame/pseuds/betheflame, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HogwartsToAlexandria/pseuds/HogwartsToAlexandria
Summary: Parties meant both Pep and Buck would be dressed to the nines, and he'd have to watch them dance together, and laugh against each other's lips. And he would invariably go back to this room, his room, to cry a tear of confusion, to sniff a breath of denial, to wipe his face of his hopes.What a fool.Viva their final year of freedom. Viva Tony's final year living in close quarters with his biggest dream, and largest despair.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Steve Rogers, Stephen Strange/Thor
Series: Marie's Events and Bang Fics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649737
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45
Collections: Marvel Rare Pair Bang 2019





	Final Year of Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey here is our Ironchilipepper collab! Written by HogwartsToAlexandria (hi) and the amazing Betheflame! 
> 
> This was a blast to write and create and we really hope you'll enjoy every bit of it as we sail this ship together. 
> 
> Also betad by Betheflame, cannot thank you enough, as always ❤

****

~*~*~*~*~*~

**September 23rd, 2002 -**

Going back to college felt different that year. It felt like an ending, even though it was only the second week of the first semester. It was their last year, and even if Tony was joining the rest of them in the dorms for the first time, the school year of 2002-2003 would be the one they'd all graduate and life would take them away. Maybe. 

Tony sure hoped not. 

Putting his stuff away in his new room - a private one because that was how most dorms were there, unusual, but not unpleasant - didn't take long, or more like, it shouldn't have, but Tony couldn't help staring out the window, and listening closely for any voice he knew echoing down the hallway. Girls were just a floor down, boys were this floor and the smaller corridor up the stairs. This promised to be fun. It was the first time he'd gotten his mother to agree he should join in instead of living outside the campus and having to drive up to it every day. Exciting. 

It still felt like nostalgia was already slipping into his bones, though. 

Tonight, he'd go to the welcoming party that would be open to the whole campus, all majors mixed, all sororities and frat houses joined, for one big night of fun to start off the year. Tony couldn't wait, and at the same time, he knew the same ache in his stomach would roar. 

Parties meant both Pep and Buck would be dressed to the nines, and he'd have to watch them dance together, and laugh against each other's lips. And he would invariably go back to this room, his room, to cry a tear of confusion, to sniff a breath of denial, to wipe his face of his hopes. 

What a fool. 

Viva their final year of freedom. Viva Tony's final year living in close quarters with his biggest dream, and largest despair.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~

**December 16, 2002 -**

She was in _Advanced HRM - Employee Morale_ when the news came out. Pepper would probably remember that her whole life. Maria Stark was a sweet woman, all things considered, but mostly, immediately, as the chime of the end of class rang through the auditorium, Pepper's thoughts went to Tony. 

The only reason she knew about it in the first place was because Tony had given her one of those fancy mobile phones that sent her news alert in the form of text messages throughout the day. The one she received at exactly 11.02am that Tuesday was unequivocal, and crushed her heart in empathy with her friend. 

_STARK INDUSTRIES OWNER, FOUNDER AND CEO HOWARD STARK AND CHARITY PATRON, WIFE MARIA STARK FOUND DEAD IN A CAR CRASH_

Her gray plastic index file squeezed between her arms and chest, Pepper blew on her bangs and marched to the Law School building a few yards away from hers. She'd need Bucky. Tony would need all the help he could get, even if he'd probably brush it all off. Offering was caring. Not letting him chase them away? That was love. 

She wasn't exactly sure what corridor or staircase to take once she arrived in the rather ancient building, until she remembered Bucky bemoaning about his _Commercial Law - Bankruptcy_ class - _"But Pep, I'm going to be a family attorney, making me take this course makes no sense whatsoever."_ She'd heard that a thousand times, and for about every subject that wasn't related to Bucky's core subject, with maybe the exception of _Environmental Law - Resource Conservation_ and the one with the teacher he'd mooned over for a few weeks, something about mortgages and tenancy laws, of all possible subjects out there. 

Even though Bucky had the same phone she did, Pepper wasn't sure he'd know before she found him - why would Bucky subscribe to news alerts? - but a single look at his face when he finally filtered out of his TA's room told her he did. He walked to her, barely waving at his friends before he hugged her, her thick index file only serving to crush her further under the weight of the news. 

"Lab 2?" Is all Bucky said, and Pepper nodded. 

She shot a quick text message to Rhodes, her eyes wet as he confirmed Tony had locked himself up in his favorite lab at around eight and hadn't said a word or come out at all since, the only reason he knew was because Peggy Carter had called him right before the local press had started publishing their articles. They spent the way to MIT's labs in a silence only cadenced by the way they squeezed each other's hands, never letting go of the anchor it provided. It wasn't a long walk, barely long enough for Pepper to try to put her thoughts in order, which Bucky visibly failed at on his end. 

They pushed the doors to the main building, then some more doors as they got deeper into the corridors until they were in the common room that had all the doors leading to each separate lab. The peeling of the paint on door number two had never echoed Pepper's emotions so well, nor had the frown on Rhodes face been so clear as to make her sob quietly. 

She shook it off though, squeezed Bucky's hands one last time before she let go. 

"Do you have the key?" She said simply. 

Rhodes only opened his clenched fist to reveal said key, presenting it for her to take, his shoulders tight and his mouth set in a downward curve. Pepper let herself take strength in the remaining steadiness of Jim's brown eyes, forbidding herself to look too long in Bucky's direction, knowing full well that the death of his own mother was only adding to his personal fragility in this moment where Tony needed her to be a pillar, a force to lean on. She was ready.

The key turned in the lock, a clean, well-oiled sound that was drowned in Iron Maiden as soon as the door moved enough for Pepper to get her first view of the lab. The music was blasting so loud that she could see beakers rattling on the benches, and tubes vibrating enough that she knew Tony had somehow moved his speakers around the room in the most haphazard spots. When she took another step into the room, Bucky on her heels and Jim ready to close the march, it became clear that the entire lab had taken the brunt of Tony's feelings. 

The speakers were one thing, but the scraps of metal, and the rolls of schematics, and the various substances that were spilled on as many benches as the lab contained, those were all signs that he'd done what she could have bet he would - he'd tried to keep working as if nothing had happened. And couldn't. He'd lost it all alone and didn't try to reach out, rather tried to keep all of them as far away as possible, of course Tony would take that road. 

Pepper blinked back tears when she finally saw him, and could practically feel Bucky's emotions tangible behind her. Tony was curled in a ball on the floor, his back to the foot of the couch he'd had settled in there not even two months after he'd arrived five years ago, his face in his knees and his hands torturing his hair, only the music keeping them from hearing the sobs that continuously shook his entire frame. 

It took everything she had not to run to him. Everything in her not to let herself sink into the need she had to wrap him in her arms and not let go. But Pepper was known for her level-headedness, and even if she knew no one could blame her if this was the day she let go of her reputation, she also knew Tony needed her to be that person just then. 

She walked to the main unit of Tony's sound system, blaring AC/DC by now, and instead of turning it off completely, she chose to only tune down the volume to a low rumble. The slightly more appropriate volume let her hear her own steps and thoughts, but didn't break Tony's bubble completely, no matter how devastating its effects. A simple look in the boys' direction told her that they were frozen in place, double Jameses holding hands in grips that looked painful, holding themselves in place just like she'd forcefully restrained herself. Time to let go of that now. 

Pepper pushed her hair to one side of her neck in a nervous gesture, her hands trembling slightly as she walked to Tony, and leaned down, and kneeled by his head. She touched his knee first, shushing the startle in brought forth before placing her hand at the back of his head, caressing his hair. 

"We're here Tony, we're here for you." She murmured, a streak of her core strength passing through her voice anyway. 

It took time, but eventually as Jim sat on the couch behind Tony, his elbows on his knees so he could put a hand to the man's back, and Bucky sat cross-legged next to Pepper, Tony's face emerged, his eyes red and his cheeks blotchy, his nose running and throat contracting around endless sobs. Pepper opened her arms wide, sitting back with her behind flat to the carpet flooring. Tony wormed his way to her with difficulty, settling only when he had his head on her thigh and her other leg close down behind his knees, her hands in his hair and on his back, as soothing as she could make them. 

"You take your time, we're not going anywhere." 

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~

**February 27th, 2003 -**

"How are you doing, Tony?" Steve's voice broke the quiet of their Friday night. 

Midterms were the week after and all of them, without exception, were decidedly in Vatican Cameos mode - wake up at dawn, work straight through lunch, grab a bite from a sandwich, or, in Tony's case, Bucky's salads or Pepper's granola bars, and keep working till the sun started faltering down the sky, quiet night in, repeat. The only way they could get through it was by gathering, all together at night, without test cases or annotated employee textbooks and other _Atomic Engineering: a conference by Pi_. 

Cuddle pile nights. 

Very nice. 

Bucky couldn't see a life without them anymore. And he tried all he could to not face the fact that it was almost entirely because at the end of each night, if they weren't already in his room, Bucky got to guide a sleepy Tony back to his bed, and later than that, got to hug Pepper, and look into her eyes and… he just loved cuddles. And anxiety-free nights. 

Of course Steve had to get all serious and concerned now. 

Bucky saw both the way Tony's shoulders tensed in an instant and the hand Rhodey squeezed around Steve's hip. _What the fuck, man._

Bucky had to give it to him, as well-meaning and worried as they all were, actually asking Tony about what went on in his head was a battle many of them chose to pick more seldom than they should. Maybe there wasn't a time and place for these questions. Maybe, anytime was good to remind this beautiful man that they were all here for him. 

Bucky couldn't help sliding from his perch on the back of the couch to sit sideways behind Tony's back, one of his hands sneaking up to Tony’s shoulder for support. Tony gave him a small side-glance - he didn't look panicked anymore, just exhausted - then looked at everyone in turn, from Stephen's cross-legged position on the carpet, to Thor whose knees the man was leaning on, to Nat who pretended she was typing away at her phone, to Pepper who watched him with wide eyes and a hand laying palm up between them on the cushion of the couch, and then only did he come back to Rhodey, who gave him a small smile, and to Steve, who was watching him intently, his tiny frame wired to bolt and hug - Bucky could tell at the twinkle in his eye. 

"I'm ok, man." Tony finally said, his voice hoarser than it had been when they all fought over who should be eating the last slice of the pepperoni pizza, but much steadier than Bucky imagined it would be. 

Tony and Steve stared at each other a little while longer, before the moment broke and Tony leaned back into Bucky's chest, resting his head on his shoulder and squeezing Pepper's hand. 

They all breathed just a tiny bit better. Even if all Bucky wanted was to sweep Tony off that couch, bring him to a place even quieter than Stephen's room, less crowded, and hide him from all but Pepper until the end of time. 

Pepper gave him a shadow of a snicker, but the light in her eyes told of the same desire, and they both bit back their long-suffering sigh when Tony picked up on what was going on - but didn't actually get it. Of course not. 

Another quiet night in, just one less lump in everyone's throat. _'G'night's_ and _'Tomorrow's_ , hugs and more looks, business as usual, only they had exams to focus on. 

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~

**March 3rd, 2003 -**

"Where is he?" Pepper pushed the heavy doors of the third lab she'd checked trying to find Tony. At least this one had Rhodey in it. 

She pushed her bangs out of her eyes, thinking she'd need to get Bucky to trim then for her again when she'd be back in the dorms later. She clicked his tongue when Rhodey just looked at her with a frown. 

"Stark. I’m looking for Stark. Where is your idiot best friend?" She explained. 

"Oh, so he's _my_ idiot best friend now? What part of that statement doesn't apply to you as well? Idiot or _be--_ "

"Not now, James, Tony didn't show for his oral thesis defense." 

"What?!" 

"Yes, ' _What?!_ '. So, you don't know, he hasn't said anything?"

"No, Pep, 'course not. I would have told you all." 

"Fuck." 

~*~

It was a long wait. Finding Tony turned out to be impossible and Pepper decided to stop trying. She sat down in the one lab they'd found Tony a few months back, on the one day that scarred him permanently, in the hopes that he might find his way back there. Her phone lay on the table, her hair pulled in a messy bun she couldn't have cared less about, and her legs bouncing off the carpet every few seconds. 

Hours passed. She was alone at first, and then, as the day went on and the sunlight disappeared, everyone that mattered started filtering in. Rhodey sat on one of Tony's rare cleared benches with Steve leaning on his chest, standing between his legs. Stephen let his head fall on Pepper's shoulder in a rare show of affection. Thor tried as best as he could to not pace in the room but ended up doing so, anyway. 

Bucky sat at Pepper's feet, his head on her knees, his back to the door looking up at her. 

"He's okay." 

"You can't know that," she whispered back, and felt Stephen hiding his face in her shoulder - emotions weren't his forte, but worry always got the best of him and Thor wasn't any use helping him get through it just then. 

"Hey doc," Bucky asked, smiling when Stephen opened his eyes to look straight at him right away. "Got your special headphone jack splitter with you?"

"I do," Stephen nodded slowly. 

"Make room for me? Wanna listen to something with you, can I?" 

Less than 30 seconds later, both Bucky and Stephen had headphones in their ears, sitting side by side next to Pepper and listening to the soundtrack of the movie _Rush_ on a low enough setting that they could hear the others if they talked, but not enough so that Hans Zimmer's music didn't captivate them. 

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing." Stephen said after a while and Bucky laughed.

"Is it working?" 

Stephen nodded. 

"Then who cares?" Bucky bumped their shoulders together. "Now shush, that's my favorite track."

~*~

Text messages had flown from each of their phones, three times, phone calls had been turned away by Tony's answering machine two hours and they'd still kept trying. And then a soft banging noise started down the hallway leading to the lab, making them all open their eyes wider, straighten their shoulders, perking up, ready. 

The door banged softly on the wall opposite as Tony pushed it, stumbling into the room.

Pepper's face set in a hard mask, Bucky got up, Thor stopped in his tracks, Steve took a step forward. Tony slumped, sliding down the wall, until he was sitting with his ass flush to the white tiles, legs straight ahead and arms resting, lifeless at his sides. 

"You sure look like shit, guys," Tony slurred when no one talked. 

Rhodey pinched the bridge of his nose, his lips parting around a question or a retort, but Pepper stopped him with a wave in the air. She stood, and walked to Tony slowly, stopping on her way to get gauze and disinfectant from Tony's first aid kit, then resumed her walk and knelt at his side. 

"You sure shouldn't talk right now. Unless you want to tell us where you've been." 

She worked in silence, glancing into Tony's eyes in between cleaning him up, taking particular care in treating the few less superficial scrapes on the man's jaw. He looked beat-up, he smelled like fancy whiskey that he must have drunk too fast and without care. She watched him, miserable puppy brown eyes all glazed over, looking up at her with unshed tears he probably didn't feel and wouldn't want to let escape, and couldn't help brushing a gentle thumb under his eye. 

"What happened, Tony?" She murmured as she felt Bucky's hand on her shoulder, and more than that, the strength of all their friends as they supported the duo in silence. 

Tony looked to the side, rubbed his face against his shoulder, a new nervous gesture of him she'd picked up on in the mornings she knew he'd had nightmares. He didn't say anything for a long while, just reached out to squeeze her hand in a death grip, and then, when Pepper thought he wouldn't answer in the end, a faint whisper came to confirm her suspicions. 

"Obie…" 

It was all he said, and Pepper sizzled with barely contained rage - the asshole wanted Tony out, of course he did, he'd always worked for himself and only for himself, having a boss half his age didn't suit. 

She wished she could just curse him to the ground, heel him where it hurts, trample him till he fled with his tail between his legs. 

"We can figure it out in the morning. You need to sleep, we all do." She said instead. "Wanna sleep here?" 

Tony looked up again then, a certain kind of hope in his eyes, the one she'd seen so many times before, but only when he thought she or Bucky weren't looking. It made her heart beat faster, small butterflies extending their wings inside her belly. She brushed her thumb over the back of his hand, and reached up to do the same with Bucky's hand on her shoulder, feeling both metal phalanges and warm skin in a combo that made her bit her lip. Pepper nodded to encourage Tony, and kissed his forehead when he nodded in turn. 

When the boys were gone, back to their respective rooms, each with a word or a touch for Tony, Pepper slid the convertible couch down into its bed position, made them a bed with the few blankets and cushions lying around. She maneuvered Tony down so he could lie in the middle of it all. She followed suit, settling at his back, on her side, her head leaning on her palm. 

"You're staying too, right?" Tony's voice was soft, scared, tired beyond measure, not slurred anymore, but devastated, and the way he looked at Bucky, then glanced back into Pepper's eyes for confirmation and then again at Bucky, it broke her heart, and she knew that it didn't leave much of her boyfriend's either. 

Bucky nodded, biting the inside of his cheeks to keep as straight a face as he could, and shed his jacket and shirt, only his sweat pants and socks remaining. And one last detail. 

"Help me unfasten it?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the mattress - and Pepper thought she was seeing stars, about how long it had taken for him to ask her that question, for him to be comfortable enough to let her do it for him every night; she was so proud. 

Tony sat up slowly, his hands trembling faintly as he raised them to Bucky's shoulders. It didn't take him long to work it out, nor did Bucky have to guide him, before Tony awkwardly held up the prosthetic, unsure what to do with it. Bucky smiled, and took it from him. 

"Thank you." He flicked some hair out of his eyes, put his arm down on the nearest armchair and got under the covers. "Now sleep."

"Now sleep." Pepper nodded into Tony's back, allowing herself to kiss the back of his neck before reaching for Bucky's hand over Tony's hip. 

"Night." Tony croaked out, long after the fact, when Pepper had turned nearly all the lights off and they laid all together in the dark. Tomorrow would be another day, another day where they would kick ass and take names, but for now, rest was what it took.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~

**May 9th, 2003 -**

Nausea. 

It took him right away, the moment his brain waved him awake, even before he opened his eyes, even worse after he did. Tony moaned with the banging pain at his temple and the swirling sensation in both his stomach and vision as he sat up just enough to lean on the wall at the head of his bed, his pillow lying on the floor, pushed off sometime during the night. 

"Shit." He hissed, blinking again as his mind suddenly flashed with half-memories, shreds of light and emotions. 

He'd kissed Bucky. He wasn't sure how, he didn't know why, couldn't fucking tell where but he knew he had. At that sorority party thing. 

" _Fuck._ " 

Tony rubbed his face harshly, gasping when he simultaneously wondered how he'd gotten home, and remembered Pepper had been the one to put him to bed, had been that tingling sensation on his forehead where she'd kissed him good night, before she walked back to Bucky who was waiting for her at the door of Tony's room. 

What the fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Nothing made sense. Not the kissing, not Pepper in his bedroom afterwards, not the ache that made him pant and threatened to let his hangover get the better of him. All Tony knew was his the need he felt to hide behind his many blankets would not go away, and for good reason. His two best friends, and he'd fucked up, hadn't he? 

_"I love you Pep, and you Buck, I love you, both of you… I… it's fucking weird I know…"_

He'd fucked up so bad. 

Maybe he could pretend he was sick for the whole of the incoming week. Or month. Until the end of the semester? Perhaps for the rest of his life? People were sick their entire lives, right?

As if. His phone was already buzzing off his nightstand, getting dangerously close to the edge with all the texts he was receiving. A glance at the clock in the corner of his desk told him it was three in the afternoon - what the everloving fuck - so that at least made sense. Somehow. 

Tony reached for it with a trembling, clammy hand, blinking under the force of his hangover-headache. 

_10.04am, Pepper: Tylenol in the drawer of your nightstand, water at the foot of your bed. Take some._

_10.05am, Bucky: I know you're still sleeping, but, don't freak out when you wake up._

_10.13am, Bucky: seriously don't. We can talk about it, or not, your call._

_10.14am, Pepper: call me when you don't feel like you'll throw up if you open your mouth._

_2.37pm, Rhodey: wtf happened yesterday man?_

Tony stared at his phone, sat up straighter in his bed, pulled his drawer open and swallowed two pills like Pepper had told him too. He didn't know what to do, didn't know what to tell either of them. Wished Rhodey had actually been at the party instead of attending his Army seminar. Rhodey would have at least tried to stop him. 

Tony whined in the silence of his room, both from the absolutely miserable everything of his body in the moment, and from the mindfuck that deciding what to do now happened to be. A shower would help, if he could get there. 

It took him twenty more minutes, which he spent grabbing his camera and going through the blurry, excited pictures he'd taken at the party last night before he stopped again - they were all pictures of either Bucky or Pepper. Tony wasn't even surprised, he just couldn't explain away the draw he felt as he bit his lip and traced their features on the last picture he'd taken of all three of them. The timestamp read 4.17am, which, if Tony's brain wasn't farting, would have been approximately 20 minutes before his magnificent fuck-up. 

The shower did help. It splashed over his face and ran down his weakened body like a cascade of freshness, a balm for his racing mind and sore flesh. Tony couldn't help touching his lips as he zoned out, the blue tiles of his dorm shower turning blurry, and his mind more and more accurate in his recreation of the moment. 

Bucky's eyes had been so blue, so wide. 

Goddamnit.

~*~

_There's some kind of steam all around him, not the kind that feels like your lungs are filling up with humidity, the kind that feels like everything is hot, and he's hot, his skin warm and slippery with sweat, his hands surprisingly smooth instead of clammy._

_Tony reaches forward in the dark and finds nothing, he puts his hands back by his sides and realizes he's lying on a bed, and his fingers automatically close around bunches of fabric, the sheets folding and rippling under him, whispering their satin to his ears - and since when does he have satin sheets?_

_He can't hear anything but the sound of his own panting, and realizes there's nothing around him until he thinks them into appearing. He doesn't know why he's panting, until he feels hands on him. He doesn't know who's hands they are, until he realizes the two that roam his chest don't feel the same, one is warm, as warm as Tony's breath, the other is colder and clumsier in its path up to Tony's neck, but gets warmer and more self-assured as Tony groans from its touch; the hands on his legs and, after a bit, on his cheeks, are nimbler, more delicate, feminine, Tony's brain supplies._

_He doesn't understand, until he sees flashes of blue eyes and dark hair and red-blonde strands, and Pepper's voice fills his ears at the same time as Bucky's face takes over Tony's field of vision._

_"Wake up, love."_

_"Wake up, doll."_

_"Wake up,--"_

"--Tony."

Tony gasped awake, his senses disoriented and his heart beating too loud for comfort, jolting into a sitting position, right into Pepper's arms. 

"What… what… Why are you here?"

"You were calling our names in your sleep." Pepper told him, showing Bucky standing behind her with her thumb. 

Tony felt his cheeks heat up but he couldn't tell if it was visible over the still very present sickly glow of his hangover. He prayed it wasn't. He coughed. 

"Oh? Weird. Doesn't explain why you're here though?" He redirected, crossing his fingers under his comforter. 

"Checkin' on your drunk ass, of course." Bucky said, his voice rough like it was when he forced it to be light - Tony thought he'd have trouble looking him in the eye, he didn't, he couldn't keep his eyes off him. 

They stared into each other's eyes, Pepper still sitting quietly on the edge of Tony's bed. Tony could almost hear Rhodey whispering an _'awkward'_ into his ear, but when he finally wrenched his gaze off Bucky and looked at her - his hands trembling, this was _her_ boyfriend, her boyfriend Tony had kissed, Bucky's girlfriend Tony always hugged too long, couldn't help it, Bucky's girlfriend whose hair Tony couldn't his hands off nor help smelling when she was fresh out of the shower, the scent of her lavender shampoo filling his nostrils in such a unique way Tony thought that might have been the smell he couldn't pinpoint in his dream. 

He was so fucked. He was close to hyperventilating. Couldn't think straight. Control his hands. Fisted the sheets. Blinked. Again. He'd fucked up so bad. 

How could you want two people as much as he did? How could you want two people who were happily together? How. How. How. He had known them for years and loved them just as long. That truth didn’t make reality any easier. 

"Calm down, Tony, look at me, breathe," Pepper put her delicate hands on Tony's cheeks, pulled his head to face her fully, forced eye contact, and started inhaling deeply, exhaling long and slow. "Breathe with me." 

Tony looked into her blue eyes, a shade deeper than Bucky's nonetheless piercing right through him. Tony felt seen, he felt held, he felt heard and naked. 

"It's okay," Pepper whispered, blindly reaching for Bucky's hand when the man stepped closer. "It's okay, sweetheart" she repeated as she inched closer to Tony's face, looking back and forth between his eyes and lips and Tony would have gasped if he'd had any air left to expel. 

The first contact of her lips to his made Tony freeze. Then he sobbed and started moving with her, putting a hand over Pepper's on his cheek. 

This made no sense. It was wonderful; he must still be dreaming. 

Her mouth was so soft against his own, such a breath of fresh air, he felt gross kissing her with his day-old liquor-lips. 

Just like Pepper had been the one to initiate the kiss, she was the one to break it. She didn't go far, she scooted closer on the bed, tugged Bucky down to sit behind her and pushed her forehead to Tony's. 

"We'll figure it out." She spoke against his lips, and Tony chose to believe her. 

~*~

"You know," Steve started, his mouth half-full with his last bite of hot dog as he made his way to the tiny refrigerator of their floor's common room. He bent at the waist to rummage through its content before straightening up, a can of soda in hand. He turned on his heels to face Tony's slouching form on the couch, swallowed his mouthful and kept going. "I've never seen either of them this happy. Not even when they got together just the two of them, which was huge already." 

Tony's eyebrows shot up. He tried really hard to not sit up straight right away, but the smirk Steve gave him told him he failed. 

"You're full of it, Rogers."

"Am not." 

"You--"

"--He's not." 

Tony did sit up then, his hands fisting in the fabric of his jeans, eyes wide - Bucky.

Bucky was leaning in the doorframe, wearing the same sweatpants he wore every weekends, his hair pulled to the side and his prosthetic off. He looked warm and… utterly sexy, and Tony's heart beat too fast by the time the man left his spot and walked up to him, Steve retreating out of the room. 

"He's right, he's… he's so right, Tony," Bucky laughed, not amused, not nervous, almost… overwhelmed. His blue eyes, they took Tony's breath away. His large hand, coming to grip the back of Tony's, well that was just pushing it. 

"I can't believe that." Tony whispered as he watched their hands linked on his knee. 

"And yet you should. I've… fuck, Tony, I think I fell in love with you that first time, you know, that… that time you came out of the lab, drenched in water, grinning because DUM-E--"

"Had achieved H²O spray." Tony interrupted him, leaning forward a little, staring into Bucky's face. It couldn't be. "But, Buck, that was two years ago…"

"Exactly, Tony, exact-fucking-ly." 

When Pepper found them, they were tangled up on the couch, Tony pressed against Bucky's good side, looking up at him with more openness than he'd ever allowed himself to display around the other man. 

"How long have you loved Tony, princess?" Bucky whispered when Pepper snuggled to them by resting between Bucky's legs. 

She laughed, it illuminated her face so beautifully. She looked at both of them in turn before settling on Tony's eyes. 

"Ever since that time you came back from that driving lesson thing." 

"Four years?" 

"I mean, I thought I might." She shrugged, "And then you proved me right, every day, what was I supposed to do?"

"What indeed." Bucky sighed contentedly. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

**June 6th, 2003 -**

No matter how much Stephen wished he'd aced his last midterms more, he'd always known Palmer would be top of the class, he really was bad at talking to people, _'bedtime manners, not on point, Strange'_ , but looking up at her on stage, where she was also their student commencement speaker, he found he didn't mind. She was a nice girl, funny, didn't get offended by his occasional bluntness, tried her hardest to beat him at blind tests - and always failed, of course - he liked her. 

Looking to her side from his seat in the vast gymnasium requisitioned for the occasion, Stephen grinned even harder though. Pepper was up there. Of course she was. And Nat was too. Both were summa cum laude and had speaking roles in the ceremony due to their leadership on campus. Beautiful. 

Stephen tried not to appear too emotional, but when he felt his boyfriend's hand circling his wrist over his knee and squeeze, he knew he'd failed. 

"I just know you too well, mighty doctor." Thor whispered against his cheek before straightening up again and giving his full attention to the dean walking on stage. 

Stephen let his own gaze wander - he didn't much like the old man. He found Bucky, standing at the foot of the few steps leading to the stage, grinning from ear to ear as Pepper tried to not let herself get distracted. Stephen had always liked the way Bucky looked at her, like she was beauty incarnated, and she took his breath away no matter what. Thor did that to him, often enough that it was embarrassing. 

It took him awhile, but eventually, Stephen found Tony as well, sitting with Rhodey with the rest of their MIT squad - none of whom either were friends with but what will you do, they were obligated to sit with their majors, unless, apparently, you were called Rogers and didn't give a shit. Stephen chuckled, elbowing Thor and pointing at the man with his chin. 

"I'm not supposed to be here either you know, Culinary Studies aren't nothing like Med school." He winked. 

Stephen sat back in his chair at that. He was so used to having Thor at his side at any time that it hadn't registered with him at all. 

"I suppose not." He replied and it was his turn to squeeze Thor's hand, resting his head on his shoulder, whispering fondly, "Mighty Chef."

Past the instant grin he saw forming on his boyfriend's face, Stephen let himself zone out. He'd never liked speeches, and there were four other major leaders due to talk before either of his two friends took the mic. He'd have missed them too, if the crowd didn't start cheering loudly after every speech - uncomfortable noise levels that almost made him fish his headphones out of his pocket, but he was still glad for it as he counted the waves of applause, and finally started paying attention when Natasha stood up and started talking. 

Speeches weren't made actually interesting because his friends were making them, Stephen mused, but seeing the glow of both happiness and nervousness made his heart feel full, and once Pepper stood up to the stand and started making her own - the last one of the 2002-2003 graduation ceremony - he couldn't help watching the reaction on all of his friends' faces or what he could see of them at least. 

Bucky looked more in love than ever before, a frankly ridiculous smitten grin wedged in his face and eyes that Stephen could see were misty from all the way across the room. Tony had pretty much the same look on his face, with the added funny lean-forward ass-coming-off-his-seat kind of awe that Stephen might have snorted at if he hadn't witnessed the beginning those three coming together so hesitantly. 

Pepper's speech was over before he knew it, and once again, Stephen spent the next minutes observing his friends. Pepper walked off the stage right into Bucky's arms, and kissed him here and there, in plain sight of all - and Stephen saw it, of Tony as well, who'd gotten up and had started walking towards them, only to let his shoulders slump, slow down, and stop walking altogether. 

Stephen sat straighter in his chair, Thor giving a little grunt that certainly meant Stephen was squeezing his hand a little too hard. He only relaxed when he saw Pepper turn around, and even from a distance, Stephen knew she'd seen what he'd seen, and he laughed a happy laugh when the newly minted graduate strode to the smaller man, a knowing grin on her face. 

And then Stephen couldn't see her face anymore, because it was squished with Tony's. And Tony's shoulders weren't slumped anymore, because his arms were up and looped around Pepper's shoulders, and Thor was tugging Stephen up to join them, and the closer they got, the more details Stephen could see.

Bucky's eyes were filled with tears, and Tony's too, and when Pepper came out of her hiding place in the crook of Tony's neck, she laughed and brought them both to her with an arm on their respective shoulders, laughing. 

The photograph for the day captured that, for the records, and the yearbook, and so did Stephen, for history. 

The day three people really came together in the plain light of bad quality projectors, and of their very own glow-in-the-dark smiles, ending their final year of freedom, with the promise of a lifetime of joy and support, of love and labor, one step at a time.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the story, and if you love the art as much as I do, be sure to give Flame a shoutout for her astounding choices and aesthetics 😍 Thank you for reading!


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